Poems, Prayers and Promises



Corn on the Macabre

Silked Stalkings are on the move
Kernaled Killers on Death Rows
Sentenced to a Field of Screams
that harbors more than just a Murder of Crows;
You can Shuck and jive
to try and stay alive
but you best beware
– the Nefarious Niblets and the Criminal Creams
are sure to make you shutter and stop,
and you’ll wish you had more than a Stick of Butter
and a surefire way to make them . . . . POP!!!

Well, we’ve been a bit under the weather so this is all we managed this week. I know, its a bit corny. Looks like a really bad Scooby Doo Villain doesn’t he? As for the song we’re sharing; well, it is equally perplexing. Back in our youth when we thought it extremely important to find the Christian alternative to Metallica I stumbled across this song on a sampler tape. It had the thrashy type riffs but definitely more of a punk rock edge. With the production being a bit muddy and the vocals going so fast – I had a hard time trying to decipher the lyrics. “What the heck is a ‘Hellcorn’?” Ultimately, I wound up buying the Crucified album on cassette. (Although not really what we listen to now – it did have some good tunes for its genre and is considered a classic among many Christian rock fans.) Of course, one of the first things that I did was open the lyrics sheet to see what this Hellcorn was all about. To my dismay, the lyrics were printed so small I couldn’t read them – even back in the late 80’s when my vision was clearer. I actually scoured the Bible looking for references of evil corn or some mention of hell and corn in a single verse trying to solve this lyrical labyrinth. After awhile, I decided that maybe these guys just didn’t like corn. My wife hates corn. I could see her screaming, “Hellcorn!!!”

Some years later I bought a reissue of the album on CD. The lyrics were legible!!! Finally, the mystery would be solved!!!
So, as it turns out; the guys apparently caught some flack for being a Christian Thrash band and among their hagglers were a group of guys that liked the Children of the Corn movie. Well, the Crucified were not about to be bullied around; so they wrote this punk rock battle hymn in retaliation. Good to know that corn isn’t evil, right? ….Now, where did she hide my corn cob holders? =P




This Motor is in Control
Strengthening the Mind and the Soul,
This System never gets Nervous
Raising the Bar of Moral Standard and Humble Service;
Resolute in what is Absolute
With Repetitious Reading building Righteous Reasoning
Passing through Hearts and Hemispheres
Gracefully grasping the heaviest of Grey Matters
Disciplining Thoughts and dispelling fears,
Training these Temporal Lobes
By overcoming trial and pain
To Bulk and Flex the Cerebral Cortex
While Tapping into the Biblical Spine
Where Power and Wisdom Stem …..from an Almighty Brain.

And for those that enjoy something a little heavier… =>

Gelada Bravada


Gavin Gelada exudes a lotta bravada
Even when his Bleeding Heart starts to drip,
Never letting vulnerability show or slip
By keeping a confident display of his prominent mane
….. and a Stiff Upper Lip.

Gelada 2

The Greater Sage Grouse

Hey there, all you Grousey girls

Shopping for a prospective mater,

Though the hour may be getting later

and the task seems a daunting endeavor,

Please do remember

Its always better Lek than never

and simpler than you might think

when looking at the common denominator

By seeing these suitors propose

By making pectorals pop,

It suddenly becomes rather easy to tell

Which Sage Grouse is . . . . . truly Greater.

The Greater Sage Grouse

The O’FISHials

There is havoc in the reef

Where the snappers play the groupers

For coral cups and algae leaf,

All bragging rights in the territory;

But the lurking linesmen presiding over the game

Have them on edge,

Staying on the defensive instead of pursuing glory,

There isn’t much sport in their sportsmanship,

No contest in the competition;

Perhaps paralyzed by more than just a sneaking suspicion

of unreasonable Refs enforcing the rules:

These pin striped peacemakers conduct is curious,

Slow moving and conspicuous

Throwing flags and blowing whistles,

Making Billy Marlin mad and John Mackerel furious;

but coach and player say not a peep or a bubble

Scared of stirring up the dirt or any kind of trouble

With futile complaints and cryin’

Because they all know the penalty

For upsetting an Ump   . . . . . that is a Lion!!!


The O'FISHial

The Cock of the Rock

Cock of the Rock

Andy is on top of the world
Looking down on creation
Shouting out with jubilant proclamation
After his lekking display
of powerful plumage and confident crest
His Lady was in a family way
and now he feels like the King of Peru
because residing in their nest
There are FIVE eggs
Instead of the expected TWO;
Its easy to see
By the way he walks and talks
He is one proud Papa that thinks Paternity ROCKS!!!

Cock of the Rock 2

These birds nest on cliffs and boulders and they usually have two eggs. The males usually don’t stick around though. :7

Mr. Shoebill

Mr. Shoebill

Mr. Shoebill has gone to the Athlete’s Foot
Where the clerks and attendants
Find themselves a little hard put
Trying to appease this tough customer;
They’ve covered all the basics of Asics,
Have Addidas for Cheetahs,
New Balance for a Centipede;
They’ve got Loafers for Gophers,
Vans for Vultures
– those Wing-tipped Chauffeurs always faithful to appear
After Dodos in Sketchers
Fall from Stilts and get carried away on Stretchers;
They’ve got leaping Lemurs in LA Gear,
Hippo psyches sporting Air Nikes
and getting in the New York groove,
A Rhino Farmer wearing Under Armor
Keeping his Oxpecker on the move;
They have Gazelle in Go Go boots,
Urchin in Uggs,
Every name brand for those who accept no Substitutes,
Oh yes, they have every kind of imaginable fix,
But the one thing they just don’t seem to have
…..is a way to get Mr. Shoebill to fit into a size SIX!!!!


Mud Boots – one size fits all! =P

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